So, my name is Andee and I am currently living in Charlotte, NC teaching high school earth and environmental science to 9th graders that range from 14 to 19. It has been a wild ride. I decided to start "blogging" (is that the right word??) because I wanted some place to dump thoughts, share my experiences and read others.
Some about me, when I graduated last May from Gonzaga (shout out to 1017:), I went to Mississippi for a month to learn to be a teacher. I was in the classroom by the start of the second week and crying by the end of the second week. I have a stutter - yup. You may be asking yourself right now, why on earth would you choose a public speaking job, then?? Well, my stutter was definitely an annoyance but I never even considered it as something that could hold me back. That was until I stood in front of 35 freshmen who could barely read or write and needed something to make fun to hide from their own struggles in the world of academia. My time in Mississippi changed me. I fell in love with those kids, their struggles and their triumphs. They were incredible, but could not see it. When I left in the middle of July to make Charlotte my home for at least the next two years, I felt like I was leaving something that I did not finish. When I left, there were still 14 year olds who had been passed along that could barely read, let alone explain what an atom is.
Nonetheless, I did leave and moved to Charlotte where I now teach earth science at International Studies at Garinger High School. To say I have been incredibly blessed to be placed at this school would be an understatement. I am surrounded by people who love and care about the kids. I have a supportive administrative staff and am challenged daily in my job. I love my kids, but am undecided on my love for teaching.
I completed my first semester teaching totally and utterly exhausted. I had no idea what teachers went through (thank you to every teacher I once had and did not appreciate...). My first day, one of my kids cussed me out and flipped a desk. I have seen paper balls, spit balls, gum balls and chairs fly through the classroom. I have witnessed kids struggling to read and put their head down in defeat. I have cried with kids who have shared their stories. I have seen kids come and go, seen kids too gone to participate, seen kids carry their own children into school, seen kids waste potential and seen kids show their many talents. I have said things I never thought I would say, such as, "Jonathan, please stop rapping. Is this rap battle really worth a fight with Erick right now?" or "Willie, stop dancing in the middle of the room and take a seat" or "You know if you start fighting right now someone could lose a tooth"... just to name a few. But, mostly, I have learned a lot.
I am not a stellar teacher. In fact, I struggle every day and classroom management in sooooooo hard. Trying to convince high schoolers to see their own worth and the value of an education, especially when they do not understand its potential to serve as a way out, is really hard. Constantly showing God's love to a group of 14-19 year olds when all I want to do sometimes is completely lose my cool does not go on the "easiest thing I have ever done" list. But, these kids do not need to be "saved", they need to be taught. They need the same tools I was given to be successful. They need to invest their education beyond the lesson plans a teacher makes. They need to own their lives, because us teachers cannot do that for them. They need to see their infinite worth and potential and start using it.
Do I like my job? A question my kids ask all the time. I LOVE the interactions with students. I love spending time with them, hearing their stories and dreams and joking with them. I like aspects of teaching. I like sharing knowledge with kids and coming up with creative ways for them to learn information. I do not like the unrealistic hours expected of teachers. Last semester I arrived at school daily at 5 am, school starts at 7:15 am, we finish the day at 2:!5, I left school at 5 p.m., went home to have dinner and then literally lesson planned for the next day until about midnight or 1 am to wake up and do it all over again. I now know the meaning of survival mode. This semester things are a bit different because they have to be. I don't like never feeling good enough for the kids and knowing that they deserve so much more than what I can give them (not only am I first year with little training, but my background is not in science). I want to be the best for my kids, but the road to get there feels long. So, did I ever think that at 22 I would be teaching students close to my age a content I struggled my entire life in, battling to get teenagers to care and fighting to be myself and find myself in it all? Did I expect to love 150 plus kids as much as I do? Definitely not... I am, without a doubt, livin' a dream...
